To You & The Start Of Our Van Experience
It is 9:01 am and I am sitting at a Starbucks somewhere in Hutto, Texas. I am waiting for you to come back and pick me up. You dropped me off about an hour ago so you could have some time with your bosses and give your letter of resignation. In typical Julia fashion, I was making silly jokes and everything was light-hearted before we said goodbye. It is only now that it's truly hitting me. You are leaving your first career of 4 years. In two short months, you will be the ruler of your weekday schedule, your own boss. You do not know what is to come; the uncertainties are endless, but the opportunities are boundless. The longing to see, to explore and get lost outweighs the worries, concerns and fears we can sometimes be bound by.
It still hasn't hit me. The van trip seems so distant and far away, but thinking about it now, I guess that's how life goes for me sometimes. The future is always just out of reach, then suddenly, instantly it can hit you. Looking through old photos, realizing it's only weeks before a birthday or Christmas; it catches up to you.
I want to first say thank you. Thank you for your spirit, thank you for your desire to travel, for your open mind and free-spirit. Thank you for working hard to achieve your goals. Thank you for being so grounded. When I first proposed this trip, it seemed unattainable. I honestly didn't think we would do it. I live by fleeting desires, often times jumping from one to the next, but for some reason, you stand by me. For some reason, you encourage me to do whatever the hell I want... and for some reason, I know this will be worth it.
Secondly, I want to make some promises. I will start with the promise to always laugh with you (and at myself)... or at least try to ;) Flat tires, unexpected delays, gas station dinners, silly disagreements; I will try to always find the humor and keep an open heart. I promise to face my fears. Sometimes, I let those pesky bastards get in my way and can get totally overwhelmed, but I swear I will work through those. I promise to get lost with you; to escape the comfort of my "safety" zone and stay open to the moment. I will try my best to remain present. I promise to enjoy the sunrises (even if I haven't had my coffee), to bask in the sunsets and swim in the deep end, even if I can't see the bottom. I promise to enjoy the ride, ebbing, flowing, ever constant. Often times I am so focused on the outcome, on the destination, but I swear I will breathe it in and I will enjoy it. I will just be. We will be two beings just BE-ing together. Most of all, I promise to love you. Though it won't be easy; there won't always be gorgeous landscapes, perfect photo ops, romance under the stars and whiskey by a warm fire, I will try my best. I will love you even when I'm angry. I will love you when I'm afraid. I will love you when the days don't go as expected and we are at our wits end. I will love you then. I promise, I will love you.
We are doing this, holy crap we're doing this! I am beaming with pride right now, for you, for me. We had a dream and we are achieving it. Someday, I hope to look back on this post and fully immerse myself in this moment. The journey has begun. Together we will seek; define our lives by maps and under a blanket of stars. We are explorers, boundless, open to the unknown, longing for the unexpected. I cannot wait to get lost with you.